There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You are the jesus of drinking
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
