I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
