Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
