he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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