We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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