and she was petting her beer can
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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