I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
