Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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