She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
