Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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