Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
