Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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