why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
