Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
