Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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