I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
