i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
how drunk are you?
Several
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
