Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
