Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize