I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
