Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
