I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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