yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
