I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I woke up under a house in Key West
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
