Its about making memories worth repressing
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
