Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
