in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
