So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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