this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I understand Curling. That high.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
