her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
