Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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