On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
