If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize