So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i dont even know how to be here
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
