I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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