okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
