did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
