I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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