I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
