I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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