Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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