We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
