Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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