mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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