I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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