**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
