dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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