her vagine was all disorganized.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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