wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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