its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
