I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
