Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
