Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
