a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
