My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
