carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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