if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize