I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
