Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
