tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
