Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
